My name is Michael and I live in Washington State.

asian:

all i want in life is

  • fast wifi
  • fast metabolism
  • fast food
  • fast shipping

(via fuckin-king)

i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there is a 900% chance i’ll cry

(Source: bl-ossomed, via fuckin-king)

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

(via puertoricantwink)